{/Tuesday, June 28, 2005, @11:43 AM.
{ i just LuRvE ('V') my NAI MA!(BABYSITTER!) }
oK, 1stly, a confession. I turned my back against school this morn cos if i did appear, i'd be late for the 6th time in JC yr 1. As I was rushing at home, i was really on the verge of tears. I'm really really scared of being late. It's the fear when you're getting there and u know you just can't reach there on time and the consequences you face. Reprimanding from teachers and chances to go to detention in future. I'm really glad the hols came and I could do my detention after my hols. But i understand that the next time I'm late, I'd have to do one more, which makes it 2 spent afternoons in school. Not my idea of fun cos I'd rather have freedom and choose the place I could read or do stuff all I want.
Which is why I'm "sick", but I'll be going back for lessons which starts at 12.30, Chinese A and GSC. In other words, just 2 chinese language lessons. I'll be "feeling better" at a later time, that's how I could turn up for lessons later. I hadn't brought along my purse, in the frantic state I was cos I couldn't find it. I was really going to cry at that instant. But well, Ma just gave me money for daily expenses so I took a cab. But the bad thing is the driver seemed so languid, that when I told him to drive a little faster if he could, he was like "no, i can't, you know, cos traffic is really busy in the morn." Well, though he said it really nicely, I wasn't comforted the least bit and felt that he really din care!
So, all right, after I turned away from the school, I decided to walk home cos I had no ez-link card.(sth that is a staple essential for pple travelling by public transport in singapore) If I were to walk home, I would definitely pass by the place where I used to live in Boon Lay before I moved house to Jurong West Extension. In other words, the neighbourhood I lived in before where I'm living now. I thought I could also visit my babysitter, when I was young. Cos after I went to a childcare centre when I was 5, I could only see her when she comes to my place very occasionally or when we eat at the place she works in but I keep in touch over the phone with her too, and that is not too often. Well, so as I walked through that neighbourhood and took the paths I used to take when I was young, I got real emotional and was gonna cry. The 3rd time that day!
It was really nice, and peaceful and there was a cool, nice breeze. In the end, I settled myself at one of the 2 tables just below the block and completed some finishing touches to my homework cos it was only about 8am and I was afraid it was too early to call her cos she might still be sleeping. Which was why I called her at about 9am and went up to her. It was really nice, we were just chatting and I din know there was so much to her life until just now. Cos normally we wouldn't chat about her life that much when she was young when she came over to my place. We also went through old pictures and nostalgia was in the air. The worse part was she got kinda morbid and told me to take the photos back later or sth like that cos when she died, the pics would be thrown away by her son and that she needed to take some more nicer pics, so it would be useful when it being used for her funeral. I was stunned but laughing as I said, "i really don't know what to say."
I wouldn't want to talk about some of the other morbid things she said, but I cried at one point of time when she told me the reason to take the pics. I was like, oh my, don't talk about such stuff. The atmosphere was making me cry and there she was, spouting nonsense about what'd happen after her death. I mean it's not nonsense but i really hate it when my loved ones, especially people much more older than me talk about them dying. I just HATE IT! I really dunno what to do if any of my relatives or loved ones die. I really DUNNO! Oh my, I'm on the verge of tears again.
Oh well, they are back in the tear gland again... So I left at about 10 plus and came home up till now, I'm just chatting with the miserable, pathetic no. of people online now and blogging now. But I was really glad, my day was made, as in the day, what i did, made my day. Hope you get what i was trying to get across... And sometimes, peeps out there, don't you get the feeling that you're scared of losing people so much that you dun want to love them in the first place? And it's always so hard to let go... even when you know u have to? It would really spare u lots of misery when they pass on but u'd never get to enjoy the long hours of joy and peace with these important figures in your life. Oh right, was that a little philosophical?
Talking about that, I thought about yesterday. I was just trying to do this assignment that requires u to talk about ur feelings about these topics that a TV programme discussed and I wanted to add in something i read before. "The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. (Don't u think that's so true?) I was trying to figure out how to translate this into Chinese n asked for help from my Ma. And she was like "that's kinda profound and deep right?" I had nothing to say again.
Word of the day: "Unbe-fucking-lievable" from Citizen Girl, by the authors of the Nanny Diaries. I'm lazy to find out their exact names cos I'm running out of time, have to prepare for school, again ha... Oh ya, last bit here, I still haven told my mum that I skipped the first half of school, guessed that propelled me further to decide to visit my nai ma ha... Oh shoot, hope I'm not late again..
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Which is why I'm "sick", but I'll be going back for lessons which starts at 12.30, Chinese A and GSC. In other words, just 2 chinese language lessons. I'll be "feeling better" at a later time, that's how I could turn up for lessons later. I hadn't brought along my purse, in the frantic state I was cos I couldn't find it. I was really going to cry at that instant. But well, Ma just gave me money for daily expenses so I took a cab. But the bad thing is the driver seemed so languid, that when I told him to drive a little faster if he could, he was like "no, i can't, you know, cos traffic is really busy in the morn." Well, though he said it really nicely, I wasn't comforted the least bit and felt that he really din care!
So, all right, after I turned away from the school, I decided to walk home cos I had no ez-link card.(sth that is a staple essential for pple travelling by public transport in singapore) If I were to walk home, I would definitely pass by the place where I used to live in Boon Lay before I moved house to Jurong West Extension. In other words, the neighbourhood I lived in before where I'm living now. I thought I could also visit my babysitter, when I was young. Cos after I went to a childcare centre when I was 5, I could only see her when she comes to my place very occasionally or when we eat at the place she works in but I keep in touch over the phone with her too, and that is not too often. Well, so as I walked through that neighbourhood and took the paths I used to take when I was young, I got real emotional and was gonna cry. The 3rd time that day!
It was really nice, and peaceful and there was a cool, nice breeze. In the end, I settled myself at one of the 2 tables just below the block and completed some finishing touches to my homework cos it was only about 8am and I was afraid it was too early to call her cos she might still be sleeping. Which was why I called her at about 9am and went up to her. It was really nice, we were just chatting and I din know there was so much to her life until just now. Cos normally we wouldn't chat about her life that much when she was young when she came over to my place. We also went through old pictures and nostalgia was in the air. The worse part was she got kinda morbid and told me to take the photos back later or sth like that cos when she died, the pics would be thrown away by her son and that she needed to take some more nicer pics, so it would be useful when it being used for her funeral. I was stunned but laughing as I said, "i really don't know what to say."
I wouldn't want to talk about some of the other morbid things she said, but I cried at one point of time when she told me the reason to take the pics. I was like, oh my, don't talk about such stuff. The atmosphere was making me cry and there she was, spouting nonsense about what'd happen after her death. I mean it's not nonsense but i really hate it when my loved ones, especially people much more older than me talk about them dying. I just HATE IT! I really dunno what to do if any of my relatives or loved ones die. I really DUNNO! Oh my, I'm on the verge of tears again.
Oh well, they are back in the tear gland again... So I left at about 10 plus and came home up till now, I'm just chatting with the miserable, pathetic no. of people online now and blogging now. But I was really glad, my day was made, as in the day, what i did, made my day. Hope you get what i was trying to get across... And sometimes, peeps out there, don't you get the feeling that you're scared of losing people so much that you dun want to love them in the first place? And it's always so hard to let go... even when you know u have to? It would really spare u lots of misery when they pass on but u'd never get to enjoy the long hours of joy and peace with these important figures in your life. Oh right, was that a little philosophical?
Talking about that, I thought about yesterday. I was just trying to do this assignment that requires u to talk about ur feelings about these topics that a TV programme discussed and I wanted to add in something i read before. "The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. (Don't u think that's so true?) I was trying to figure out how to translate this into Chinese n asked for help from my Ma. And she was like "that's kinda profound and deep right?" I had nothing to say again.
Word of the day: "Unbe-fucking-lievable" from Citizen Girl, by the authors of the Nanny Diaries. I'm lazy to find out their exact names cos I'm running out of time, have to prepare for school, again ha... Oh ya, last bit here, I still haven told my mum that I skipped the first half of school, guessed that propelled me further to decide to visit my nai ma ha... Oh shoot, hope I'm not late again..
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Post Comment - that you lurve Da Dong too haha
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