{/Wednesday, July 20, 2005, @9:14 PM.
{ From "Mates, Dates and Sequin Smiles" by Cathy Hopkins. Enjoy... }
I dunno if i can quote this, but I'm gonna give credit to the book... Well, this is from "Mates, Dates and Sequin Smiles" by Cathy Hopkins. Actually, I've thought about it long ago to put it up here, it's really funny!...
Half an hour later, we were in the lingerie department of a store at the mall.
Half an hour later, we were in the lingerie department of a store at the mall.
"And are you going to explain why having braces put in has resulted in a strange compulsion to buy underwear?" asked Lucy.
"Distraction," I said. "Obvious, isn't it?"
"Yes, shopping is always a good distraction..."
"Not for us. For boys," I explained. "See, it was when T.J. said that boys like girls who look like girls that I realized that's what I had to do. Get boys distracted from my face and the way to do that is..." I indicated the racks of gorgeous girlie underwear.
"Yes, shopping is always a good distraction..."
"Not for us. For boys," I explained. "See, it was when T.J. said that boys like girls who look like girls that I realized that's what I had to do. Get boys distracted from my face and the way to do that is..." I indicated the racks of gorgeous girlie underwear.
"Show them your knickers?" asked Lucy.
"No."
Lucy laughed. "Wear your knickers on your head? That would cover your braces."
"Noooo. Don't be mad. I mean, show them my chesty bits. Have you ever been with a boy when you're showing even the tiniest bit of cleavage?"
"No."
Lucy laughed. "Wear your knickers on your head? That would cover your braces."
"Noooo. Don't be mad. I mean, show them my chesty bits. Have you ever been with a boy when you're showing even the tiniest bit of cleavage?"
"The tiniest bit of cleavage is sadly all I've got," sighed Lucy as she eyed the rails.
Izzie nodded. "Yeah, it's like their eyes are pulled toward it by some magnetic force. They can't help it. When I wore a low top to band rehearsal one evening, it was hysterical. The boys were doing their best not to look, but I could see their cheeks starting to twitch with the effort. Biff didn't even try not to look. He just talked to my chest all night."
"I hate that," said T.J. "It's like you're a walking pair of boobs and nothing else."
Lucy grinned. "You know that song by Frank Sinatra's daughter Nancy, 'These Boots Are Made For Walking'? We ought to sing 'These Boobs Are Made for Walking.' "
T.J. patted her on the head. "Keep taking the tablets, Lucy, "she said.
"Boys can't help it," I said. "It's their hormones. I know sometimes it's horrible being leered at, but it can be used to your advantage. Like my next meeting with Luke. My plan is to buy the most uplifting fab-shaped bra there is in this shop then wear it, so that he will be busy looking at my marvelous chest that he won't notice that my mouth is full of metal."
"He's going to look up sometime, Nesta," said T.J.
"And when he does, I'll shut my mouth. I'll only talk when he's looking at my cleavage."
"You're bonkers," laughed Izzie.
No, I'm not. It's simple, I thought. That is until we started to look for the bra. After fifteen minutes, I was totally confused. There were rails and rails of them. Not just colors and fabrics but types: bras for total support, egoboosters, minimizers, bras with no front, no back, balcony bras, wired, plunge, molded, padded, seamed, nonpadded, five-way, sheer, strapless, halter-neck, crossover, one-shoulder, bioform, sculptured, push up, multiway, T-shirt, sports, stretch cup. They even had thermal ones.
"Arghhhhhh," I cried. "I've seen Hitchcock's film The Birds. But now showing at a store near you, The bras. They're mean, they're keen, they're taking over."
T.J., Izzie, and Lucy cracked up laughing as I swung five bras up in the air and made them fly like birds.
A shop assistant gave me a funny look, so I put the bras back on the rails. "But how are you supposed to know which one is best?" I asked. "Do I need a bioform or a five-way push up?"
"I would imagine five-way push ups are for aliens," said Lucy. "As they are the only beings who could possibly have five boobs to push up."
This time it was Izzie who patted her on the head. "Poor dear," she said. "We really ought not to let you out again."
....... and the story continues.
Hope it made you laugh, it did for me. But i'm worried that the way i type it, it's so squished up tgt that your eyes might hurt hhaha.. But pls read it if you're sad aah...
2 Comments:
i heard from someone u wanna jue jiao the frenship because she is not willing to read ur blog anymore and the fault lies with the colour of the font. WAHAHAHA
By 
Makan Girl, at
11:22 PM
it's not just because of that. she doesnt really know how I feel. It's not that funny when you see the other side. I felt hurt, and I was so hurt a moment ago again, so much grief and sadness, and depressive emotions... Suffocating,...sux... but thanks for commenting, at least i know you read my blog, but trust me, it's not as simple as that, TO ME...
Post Comment - that you lurve Da Dong too haha
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