{/Thursday, April 20, 2006, @1:11 PM.
{ Sucker baby. What a bad day! At first... Life is unpredictable... }
sucker baby... it started off bad this morning. My ear makes me mad! It's like dull hearing, so i gotta be glad that at least it's not complete deafness. Sigh... Sorta argued with Ma this morning over my ear and I guess I was blaming her for it. I really don't know what my body wants. These 2 days, I've gave it lots of sleep, to the extent of not doing my homework but my mood is still pretty unstable.
What the fuck! Anyway... Was running late cos was depressed enough after fight with Ma and didn't do any homework. I slept at 11pm last night and tried to wake up at 5 this morning to study for test and do Econs homework. Alas, I didn't and I was already as pissed as it was. About the cab, none came. DAMNED! Then I just sat by the road and started crying. Feeling so sad for myself. It's just pathetic.
Thinking thru my options, going to school still cos I already skipped Monday or back home and try to study something. My bout of depression thus took me home. Went to sleep and voila! My mood improved. When a teacher txt me that I could go watch BURN THE FLOOR for free this Sat, it's like... what a wonderful world!(what Chris Daughtry sang on American Idol yesterday ha) Woah woah woah, I can't help stressing how unpredictable life is.
Gotta go and bathe and then meet Eve at school and go together to YCY to take the long-awaited pay and do some homework before JAZZ CLASS! i'm so psyched! It has been my fuel to get through the days long before this coming Thursday. Oh ya, dance was enjoyable, though Lao Shi was kinda pissed with the J1s... hee and I totally had fun with Eve at the Talentime auditions. Not to forget Jesse Ding, Kai Ling and Pammos hah...
Lastly but not, I must never forget this...
"Dance like no one is watching,
Love like you've never been hurt,
Sing like no one is listening,
Work like you don't need the money,
Live life every day as if it were your last."
And ah... i'm sorry Ma, if you ever do get to read this. I didn't tell you whenever I'm "away" from school is I'd rather not let you blow up your top if I can help it. Of cuz, I care about my studies so I won't let you down aight? :)
I'm sure later will be a great day! LoVe ya' all friends and family! T_T
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What the fuck! Anyway... Was running late cos was depressed enough after fight with Ma and didn't do any homework. I slept at 11pm last night and tried to wake up at 5 this morning to study for test and do Econs homework. Alas, I didn't and I was already as pissed as it was. About the cab, none came. DAMNED! Then I just sat by the road and started crying. Feeling so sad for myself. It's just pathetic.
Thinking thru my options, going to school still cos I already skipped Monday or back home and try to study something. My bout of depression thus took me home. Went to sleep and voila! My mood improved. When a teacher txt me that I could go watch BURN THE FLOOR for free this Sat, it's like... what a wonderful world!(what Chris Daughtry sang on American Idol yesterday ha) Woah woah woah, I can't help stressing how unpredictable life is.
Gotta go and bathe and then meet Eve at school and go together to YCY to take the long-awaited pay and do some homework before JAZZ CLASS! i'm so psyched! It has been my fuel to get through the days long before this coming Thursday. Oh ya, dance was enjoyable, though Lao Shi was kinda pissed with the J1s... hee and I totally had fun with Eve at the Talentime auditions. Not to forget Jesse Ding, Kai Ling and Pammos hah...
Lastly but not, I must never forget this...
"Dance like no one is watching,
Love like you've never been hurt,
Sing like no one is listening,
Work like you don't need the money,
Live life every day as if it were your last."
And ah... i'm sorry Ma, if you ever do get to read this. I didn't tell you whenever I'm "away" from school is I'd rather not let you blow up your top if I can help it. Of cuz, I care about my studies so I won't let you down aight? :)
I'm sure later will be a great day! LoVe ya' all friends and family! T_T
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{/Monday, April 17, 2006, @6:20 PM.
{ A very quick one! Cam whores! i love u all flamez... }
Thanks bro, for continue to let me use the com when I said i'd off it quite a while ago haa...
Yesterday was pretty fun, to sum it all up, i mean. I had a bout of mood swings but in the end, it all worked out and I did enjoy myself pretty much with the neoprints and chats(especially with Tyris cos I was asking all about her poly and her new poly friends ahah while she had a bad nose) She was also very nice to help all of us pay with her nets cos we didn't had cash but still wanted to shop haha... THANK YOU *_- :biggrin: =D
Before I forget to mention this, (this is also the sole reason why I wanted to make a last attempt at blogging before I off the com) I need to tell myself to rmb tat I'm one who needs constant psycho-ing. To be honest, I'm an evil person. I have negative, bad, wicked and especially this [jealousy] thoughts very easily. The thing good about it is that I recognize that it's bad, it's a problem and I don't let it take over me if I can possibly could.
I would try to keep it within control and keep telling myself that this is not that bad a world after all. The people around me, though they are pesky and irritable sometimes, that's what a true, genuine human being is like, with flaws and all. That's why we gotta love all of it. Which is why, I would just keep on going and going with the brainwashing...
I've gotta:
Go with the flow... The ONE
Think simple and pure
Be an encouraging friend
Give more compliments
(i think of them more than I actually voice it out = i'm shy)
Try to "heat up" to people (cos I'm one who's slow at it)
Embrace my uniqueness, as well as everyone else's...
Have the optimism and hope and faith to help me get
thru everyday...
With that, i end this entry. The pictures on Little Rebel's blog are FANTASTIC! WOO HOO!
I love pics... Stealing this from you: Cam whores ahha...
P.S. Thanks Pammy. Eve told me that you said this during the time when I was in Msia and you gurls went to Swensens to celebrate ur bday. "Is it because Grace's not here?" when Synn said sth about feeling lacking in sth? I think so.. haha... but maybe I made a mistake, or Eve did haha...
I LURVE U ALL FLAMEZ! and all other dear friends but sometimes I do have conflicting thoughts. When I don't hide it well, it surfaces and all but pls pls pls pls PUL-LEASE.... don't take it to heart if you do sense it. At the end of the day, I do love everyone.[when the happy and satisfied and contented Grace surfaces or is in control.] m_m
I'll steal the pics from Little Rebel's blog one day haa...
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Yesterday was pretty fun, to sum it all up, i mean. I had a bout of mood swings but in the end, it all worked out and I did enjoy myself pretty much with the neoprints and chats(especially with Tyris cos I was asking all about her poly and her new poly friends ahah while she had a bad nose) She was also very nice to help all of us pay with her nets cos we didn't had cash but still wanted to shop haha... THANK YOU *_- :biggrin: =D
Before I forget to mention this, (this is also the sole reason why I wanted to make a last attempt at blogging before I off the com) I need to tell myself to rmb tat I'm one who needs constant psycho-ing. To be honest, I'm an evil person. I have negative, bad, wicked and especially this [jealousy] thoughts very easily. The thing good about it is that I recognize that it's bad, it's a problem and I don't let it take over me if I can possibly could.
I would try to keep it within control and keep telling myself that this is not that bad a world after all. The people around me, though they are pesky and irritable sometimes, that's what a true, genuine human being is like, with flaws and all. That's why we gotta love all of it. Which is why, I would just keep on going and going with the brainwashing...
I've gotta:
Go with the flow... The ONE
Think simple and pure
Be an encouraging friend
Give more compliments
(i think of them more than I actually voice it out = i'm shy)
Try to "heat up" to people (cos I'm one who's slow at it)
Embrace my uniqueness, as well as everyone else's...
Have the optimism and hope and faith to help me get
thru everyday...
With that, i end this entry. The pictures on Little Rebel's blog are FANTASTIC! WOO HOO!
I love pics... Stealing this from you: Cam whores ahha...
P.S. Thanks Pammy. Eve told me that you said this during the time when I was in Msia and you gurls went to Swensens to celebrate ur bday. "Is it because Grace's not here?" when Synn said sth about feeling lacking in sth? I think so.. haha... but maybe I made a mistake, or Eve did haha...
I LURVE U ALL FLAMEZ! and all other dear friends but sometimes I do have conflicting thoughts. When I don't hide it well, it surfaces and all but pls pls pls pls PUL-LEASE.... don't take it to heart if you do sense it. At the end of the day, I do love everyone.[when the happy and satisfied and contented Grace surfaces or is in control.] m_m
I'll steal the pics from Little Rebel's blog one day haa...
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{/Monday, April 10, 2006, @8:01 PM.
{ Am I accident-prone or what? }
Am I accident-prone or what? Maybe I should really make it a point to blog almost everyday so that I can keep a log on my daily activities as well as my mood swings...
I really admire myself for the fact that I can have so many mood changes throughout the course of the whole day. The morning started off... not so well. Hadn't had enough sleep the previous night, that's why. Cheered up during break after chat with Cybell and then sorta warmed up to both Cybell and Yeek. However, it dipped down again during the 2nd chinese lit lesson cos I was withholding the pee in me. Went up again on the way home with Eve. thanks eve! :D, you're indeed a great pal. My only fren ahha...
Got home... Went down again cos I spoilt my one and only precious dvd player. Was too excited to try to dance along to Elva's concert disc and I put it in too fast and didn't aim it properly so it went in and got stuck and can't come out now. I have to put on hold my express boy subbing as well cos i can't watch the dvd. But, I can sure download it...
In the morning... I almost spoilt the computer by fumbling with the ip addresses and connection stuff yesterday. Sucks! I was really horrified that it would die on me cos i got the bsod(blue screen of death) acc. to this net fren guy from Canada who is a computer whizz hah... Luckily, Windows XP's system restore saved the day and my computer was spared from dying. I really can't live without my computer. I'm just so helpless.
So, am I accident-prone or wad? Maybe... it's during this period of time when I started fansubbing maybe. I almost caused the CPU to explode once cos I cleaned the fan(opened the case before doing that) and didn't put the wires around the fan properly and it sorta went into the fan, causing some belligerence there... Mmm... did I use belligerence correctly?
Ah... Learning of English... Well well, don't talk about it. I'm currently in big trouble with myself. To be exact, my brain. It kinda doesn't function well or I have obsessive compulsive disorder like the guy in a book I once read about, ok, i didn't finish the book. Cos I'm watching jap or korean shows with subtitles recently, I tend to focus too much on the subtitles that I lose my train of thought and I gotta keep rewinding. It's like my mind is all twirled up up there... I need more sleep, hopefully I'd be back to normal by then...
big shit! It's showing So You Think You Can Dance? gotta go be a fan of the TV again... Right now... See ya all, my pals ahhaa...
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I really admire myself for the fact that I can have so many mood changes throughout the course of the whole day. The morning started off... not so well. Hadn't had enough sleep the previous night, that's why. Cheered up during break after chat with Cybell and then sorta warmed up to both Cybell and Yeek. However, it dipped down again during the 2nd chinese lit lesson cos I was withholding the pee in me. Went up again on the way home with Eve. thanks eve! :D, you're indeed a great pal. My only fren ahha...
Got home... Went down again cos I spoilt my one and only precious dvd player. Was too excited to try to dance along to Elva's concert disc and I put it in too fast and didn't aim it properly so it went in and got stuck and can't come out now. I have to put on hold my express boy subbing as well cos i can't watch the dvd. But, I can sure download it...
In the morning... I almost spoilt the computer by fumbling with the ip addresses and connection stuff yesterday. Sucks! I was really horrified that it would die on me cos i got the bsod(blue screen of death) acc. to this net fren guy from Canada who is a computer whizz hah... Luckily, Windows XP's system restore saved the day and my computer was spared from dying. I really can't live without my computer. I'm just so helpless.
So, am I accident-prone or wad? Maybe... it's during this period of time when I started fansubbing maybe. I almost caused the CPU to explode once cos I cleaned the fan(opened the case before doing that) and didn't put the wires around the fan properly and it sorta went into the fan, causing some belligerence there... Mmm... did I use belligerence correctly?
Ah... Learning of English... Well well, don't talk about it. I'm currently in big trouble with myself. To be exact, my brain. It kinda doesn't function well or I have obsessive compulsive disorder like the guy in a book I once read about, ok, i didn't finish the book. Cos I'm watching jap or korean shows with subtitles recently, I tend to focus too much on the subtitles that I lose my train of thought and I gotta keep rewinding. It's like my mind is all twirled up up there... I need more sleep, hopefully I'd be back to normal by then...
big shit! It's showing So You Think You Can Dance? gotta go be a fan of the TV again... Right now... See ya all, my pals ahhaa...
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{/Sunday, April 09, 2006, @12:46 AM.
{ Full House is real cute and I'm back to normal again.. haha. Yeah to homebodies! (Pam) }
woah woah... was feeling kinda down just now... went with family to jp for dinner and shopped around abit. I felt really estranged from the outside world of a sudden though i went shopping with part of Flamez on thursday for Tyris's prezzies. It must have been my constant hook-up with the computer, like chunu(a fellow fansubber) said, "I live in the computer." Being plastered to the chair in front of my com watching dramas and fansubbing all day long...
I fear all the little, pathetic socializing skills I have are gonna be lost finally if this continues. Thus, I had a sudden urge to go out, dress myself up, and be in contact with the outside world agian. Really, it was real terrible just now. But after texting Tyris, she suggested I could go back and work in YCY. Then, I watched Full House episode 3 haha... SSOOO FUNNY AND CUTE! The bed scene whereby Rain and Hye Kyo irritated each other and see who couldn't tolerate it any longer... when they were supposed to have their "honeymoon"... and Song Hye Kyo's clothes are really lovely! Full of colours and different designs... Wow!!! I love to see her different outfits in the show...
haha... i laughed real hard at quite a few parts and am cheered up now. I was watching Hana Yori Dango just now and my pesky bro called from his room that time's up. I'm supposed to give up the com to him at 12.30am, and it's 12.49am and i haven't gave it up and nothing has happened to me yet... So, i'll continue haha..
I was indeed cheered up and went back to the notion that doing this, hooking up with the computer, watching dramas, living more of a virtual life? or rather drama life? isn't too bad... I do derive joy and I do learn new things and I do learn see how people interact and see how they dress up and I think of the thought-provoking parts...
All the above said, I think it's still healthier for me catch up with old friends. If I don't have new ones, then keep the old ones and make sure they are treated right. SO, Tyris, thanks for your birthday. We'll go out on next Sat, I believe. Or we could go singing ahha... Like I said, I vow to go the craziest like never before in my life in my next singing session ha... It's just a sudden bout of depression... I'm sure...
Thanks Radi, I really have fun with you in school hee... :)
I really thought of going back to work but now I think maybe not. I tire rather easily these days... Must be the blood donation's aftermath... Haha.. i'm exaggerating, my ma would say... I'm cheered up now, as u all can see.
I was lazy to blog just now cos I was in the midst of watching HYD episode 6, but I realize I must do it. Cos I dun wanna forget these feelings. Till then, my friends.
Probably, another reason why I really stay at home a lot these days is I realize how much money I actually save or help my family save by reducing consumption outdoors. Isn't it so true that "see no evil" is at play here? If I don't see the lovely clothes or things, I won't have the desire to buy them. But when I do, and if I don't buy them, I'd be kinda down and if I see my friends buy, I'd feel worse...
Well, anyway, I need to have a balance in life. That's for sure i know... :D
Yeah to Homebodies! (Pam)
Drama lovers!
Crazy people!
Tian Wai Fei Xian(Fairy from Wonderland)
D-addicts
Blogger
All the many different colours in the world
My dear friends
My family, i see the wacky side sometimes
Malaysia(i gotta go JB one of these days and visit my cousins who promise to take care of me ha)
YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE! (aBSOLUTELY FANTAB!)
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I fear all the little, pathetic socializing skills I have are gonna be lost finally if this continues. Thus, I had a sudden urge to go out, dress myself up, and be in contact with the outside world agian. Really, it was real terrible just now. But after texting Tyris, she suggested I could go back and work in YCY. Then, I watched Full House episode 3 haha... SSOOO FUNNY AND CUTE! The bed scene whereby Rain and Hye Kyo irritated each other and see who couldn't tolerate it any longer... when they were supposed to have their "honeymoon"... and Song Hye Kyo's clothes are really lovely! Full of colours and different designs... Wow!!! I love to see her different outfits in the show...
haha... i laughed real hard at quite a few parts and am cheered up now. I was watching Hana Yori Dango just now and my pesky bro called from his room that time's up. I'm supposed to give up the com to him at 12.30am, and it's 12.49am and i haven't gave it up and nothing has happened to me yet... So, i'll continue haha..
I was indeed cheered up and went back to the notion that doing this, hooking up with the computer, watching dramas, living more of a virtual life? or rather drama life? isn't too bad... I do derive joy and I do learn new things and I do learn see how people interact and see how they dress up and I think of the thought-provoking parts...
All the above said, I think it's still healthier for me catch up with old friends. If I don't have new ones, then keep the old ones and make sure they are treated right. SO, Tyris, thanks for your birthday. We'll go out on next Sat, I believe. Or we could go singing ahha... Like I said, I vow to go the craziest like never before in my life in my next singing session ha... It's just a sudden bout of depression... I'm sure...
Thanks Radi, I really have fun with you in school hee... :)
I really thought of going back to work but now I think maybe not. I tire rather easily these days... Must be the blood donation's aftermath... Haha.. i'm exaggerating, my ma would say... I'm cheered up now, as u all can see.
I was lazy to blog just now cos I was in the midst of watching HYD episode 6, but I realize I must do it. Cos I dun wanna forget these feelings. Till then, my friends.
Probably, another reason why I really stay at home a lot these days is I realize how much money I actually save or help my family save by reducing consumption outdoors. Isn't it so true that "see no evil" is at play here? If I don't see the lovely clothes or things, I won't have the desire to buy them. But when I do, and if I don't buy them, I'd be kinda down and if I see my friends buy, I'd feel worse...
Well, anyway, I need to have a balance in life. That's for sure i know... :D
Yeah to Homebodies! (Pam)
Drama lovers!
Crazy people!
Tian Wai Fei Xian(Fairy from Wonderland)
D-addicts
Blogger
All the many different colours in the world
My dear friends
My family, i see the wacky side sometimes
Malaysia(i gotta go JB one of these days and visit my cousins who promise to take care of me ha)
YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE! (aBSOLUTELY FANTAB!)
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