{/Tuesday, September 30, 2008, @12:26 AM.
{ All depression/moodiness/full of melancholy recently... It's gotta stop! }
TITLE: All depression/moodiness/full of melancholy recently... It's gotta stop!
Finding what I want in life is so important.
Looking back at my old posts like many many months ago, I realized how fulfilled one's life can be when in the midst of things or doing things. Dancing used to be a main part of my life... During the salsa festivals especially in Xenbar. I felt so fulfilled back in secondary school and JC. I so miss Li Tao, the way he scolds and criticizes! People might be put off (very) at first, but you'll grow to enjoy the way he talks and behaves! It's so unique and he totally heck cares whatever others think haha! One of the legendary people I've seen before definitely!
Why am I still here blogging instead of working on my report? I've been procrastinating since I got home at about 5 plus pm, it's12.28am the next day now! F*CK! But it had did me good, I went online and read through some blogs and people's comments! Go read her blog, it's in mandarin though... http://www.wretch.cc/blog/illyqueen
There's no passion.
Here's a great quote I just saw on passion:
"Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... opens its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments! --- Joss Whedon
Very apt! Looking back, when I had the passion in dance, I looked forward to dance all the time! I wished the sessions were longer. Sure, I felt sad when lessons ended, but I guess it's way better than not having any interest in anything at all - you feel jaded, you don't know why you're wandering in this world.
Maybe I sound sadder than I really am or I make it sound worse than I really feel, but basically, for the past few weeks, I've just never really felt at peace. Even when I thought that there were times I felt at peace and bliss, it fleeted and it felt like I never felt those quiet, tranquil moments at all. I guess, I've been searching, still trying to find out what I want...
At first, when I got back, I took on another perspective on life - that it's up to me, really UP TO ME to decide. It doesn't matter if I'm not the really people people, so outgoing and warm-hearted AT FIRST. As long as I'm happy... That's most important. Maybe it's because I've kept on searching that I don't know what I really want to do. Life has changed, what life is about, I start to contemplate so much about life, what its basic meaning is and how to live it. There's no best way - just the way I want it! 我觉得，找到适合自己的、自己要的生活时，就会最快乐。ALSO,ALL TOO
As I told "A Pink Robot" and Jing Chao today, I haven't laughed out loud that much these days. Where's the me who used to laugh at the slightest things, feel joy in the most simple of things... As I read my previous blog posts, I realized I used to be so contented at really simple stuff. I just feel disoriented, stressed about all the stuff in my life, trying to form bonds in MJ but I'm shy (oke, I need to so get rid of the idea that I'm shy! I don't know how I'm going to do it but I'm just gonna do it and I'm gonna give myself time! Jennifer says to PRETEND, ACT CONFIDENT. hee)
I just really need to do things and meet up with great, old friends who always make me smile and cheer me up no matter what! Poh Poh Ying! Evelyn Wong Yan Ling! My Jss dance friends, Ng Seok Hui and flamez! JC clique! And whoever that I really appreciate and am grateful to for being there and sometimes I forget to tell you but I do write down some of the nice things ppl do to me so I rmb it or will be reminded about it!
Fine fine, time to work nw! It's already12.45am
I so need to get over the oh-so-wonderful past, goodbyeYellowstone
桑叫我每说一次“黄石”就给她10块钱。根据她的计算，他已经有30块钱了。
这个她定的条规是几天前才开始的。
Thks Meishi for saying that I look sporty hee! I really don't want to come across as someone who's lazy and being sporty fills me with energy! Da da da, I don't know what to say, but I think ISHD TOO
It will get better! It already has!
From the depressed me since 7hrs to gradually becoming better (in terms of how I feel) 7 hrs later...
I so need to broaden my perspective on stuff to grow and look at things in different ways! Reading what other people write is one great way! I finally see the goodness of READING BOOKS!
Sometimes, it's just me but I tend to wonder what's the reason behind people doing a certain activity. That day in Utopia, on Sunday, it was slow again 2 hrs before closing @ 9.30pm, I started to fix some sequins in the end and 30 mins passed like 1 min cos I was so focused in finding the beads and stuff! Yeah! That's one thing I can do in future, look through garments and fix loose sequins! So fun - colourful world. My lurve for colours...
还是我应该改写华文的部落格。
我觉得，写中文的我和写英文的我仿佛是两个不同的人。
我又不清楚怎样的不同，但总之，我可以肯定的是：写中文的人没有那么罗嗦！句子比较简洁，因为用华文来表达事物可以浓缩事物于短短几个字里 - 是神奇的特性！
热爱生活、热爱活着的每分每秒才是能使自己找到属于自己快乐生活的关键！（这是我目前最更新的想法！）因为，得去做事情，投入事情，得到的满足感会让你觉得活着是再美好不过的事了！
还有，刚才我随意提起我蛮有兴趣去Mediacorp当配音员，“A Pink Robot" 也说她有同感！
其实，我还是对events management 有兴趣，因为筹备活动算是“孕育”的一种吧。（曾经阅读到巨蟹座喜欢培养、孕育的过程。）然后，看自己努力过后的结果，真是人生一大快事！让我想想以前的例子。。。
*搜寻脑子当中“。。。
JJC Prom Night 的时候！那时，我富有使命感，虽然身为logistics officer的我最后做出最大的贡献就是再Prom Night 当晚表演跳舞。但是，我还是有强烈的参与感！
当我尽心尽力写卡片给好友时，然后他们有感动到 - 我也感到十分满足和充分体验到“活着”的感觉。Feel alive.
因为，我真的是去仔细翻阅以前记录下来的点点滴滴，真的是要让对方感动！
Eh, 我突然发觉自己是那么重视自己在别人心目中的位置，当然指的是我重视的人。我真的很无奈自己多么喜欢在别人心里有特别位置的那种喜悦感！
接下来可以期待的是：Speedwing road show, can meet my 大姐们！They can 骂醒我！
I so hope to go capoeira this coming Sunday cos I finally am free to go. Shuhui baby, must go if you can make it oke? Cos PoH Poh Ying specifically said she'll make that day free for us! I need laughing therapy! Doing crazy stuff, feeling all my emotions and releasing them!
My gush, this is never ending. STOP NOW!
I think "The tide is High" has a really sweet melody - the song!
GO AND WRITE HC204 小论文 AND DO HC151 大作业 LATER!
不要再临时抱佛脚！Now is such a great time to be able to engage myself in learning, be engrossed in knowledge! Be lost in that world (but of course not losing myself totally in it)...
Haha ha hahaha yeah! Finally, a more cheery post!
Say byebye (not see you later) to the melancholy! Don't come back, at least for a rather long while...
Just now, Tang Tang Wei say "恩~你正常情況下就是喜怒無常的“
I should probably think how I should change that, make my moods more stable, but I really don't want to THINK TOO MUCH! That has been my main personality trait for as long as I can remember, suddenly, I get it!
I don't want to let go of it, don't wanna change that despite how miserable I get sometimes, cos there'd be no me! Gush, I so need to re-think about everything again. So complicated...
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Finding what I want in life is so important.
Looking back at my old posts like many many months ago, I realized how fulfilled one's life can be when in the midst of things or doing things. Dancing used to be a main part of my life... During the salsa festivals especially in Xenbar. I felt so fulfilled back in secondary school and JC. I so miss Li Tao, the way he scolds and criticizes! People might be put off (very) at first, but you'll grow to enjoy the way he talks and behaves! It's so unique and he totally heck cares whatever others think haha! One of the legendary people I've seen before definitely!
Why am I still here blogging instead of working on my report? I've been procrastinating since I got home at about 5 plus pm, it's
There's no passion.
Here's a great quote I just saw on passion:
"Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... opens its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments! --- Joss Whedon
Very apt! Looking back, when I had the passion in dance, I looked forward to dance all the time! I wished the sessions were longer. Sure, I felt sad when lessons ended, but I guess it's way better than not having any interest in anything at all - you feel jaded, you don't know why you're wandering in this world.
Maybe I sound sadder than I really am or I make it sound worse than I really feel, but basically, for the past few weeks, I've just never really felt at peace. Even when I thought that there were times I felt at peace and bliss, it fleeted and it felt like I never felt those quiet, tranquil moments at all. I guess, I've been searching, still trying to find out what I want...
At first, when I got back, I took on another perspective on life - that it's up to me, really UP TO ME to decide. It doesn't matter if I'm not the really people people, so outgoing and warm-hearted AT FIRST. As long as I'm happy... That's most important. Maybe it's because I've kept on searching that I don't know what I really want to do. Life has changed, what life is about, I start to contemplate so much about life, what its basic meaning is and how to live it. There's no best way - just the way I want it! 我觉得，找到适合自己的、自己要的生活时，就会最快乐。ALSO,
As I told "A Pink Robot" and Jing Chao today, I haven't laughed out loud that much these days. Where's the me who used to laugh at the slightest things, feel joy in the most simple of things... As I read my previous blog posts, I realized I used to be so contented at really simple stuff. I just feel disoriented, stressed about all the stuff in my life, trying to form bonds in MJ but I'm shy (oke, I need to so get rid of the idea that I'm shy! I don't know how I'm going to do it but I'm just gonna do it and I'm gonna give myself time! Jennifer says to PRETEND, ACT CONFIDENT. hee)
I just really need to do things and meet up with great, old friends who always make me smile and cheer me up no matter what! Poh Poh Ying! Evelyn Wong Yan Ling! My Jss dance friends, Ng Seok Hui and flamez! JC clique! And whoever that I really appreciate and am grateful to for being there and sometimes I forget to tell you but I do write down some of the nice things ppl do to me so I rmb it or will be reminded about it!
Fine fine, time to work nw! It's already
I so need to get over the oh-so-wonderful past, goodbye
桑叫我每说一次“黄石”就给她10块钱。根据她的计算，他已经有30块钱了。
这个她定的条规是几天前才开始的。
Thks Meishi for saying that I look sporty hee! I really don't want to come across as someone who's lazy and being sporty fills me with energy! Da da da, I don't know what to say, but I think I
It will get better! It already has!
From the depressed me since 7hrs to gradually becoming better (in terms of how I feel) 7 hrs later...
I so need to broaden my perspective on stuff to grow and look at things in different ways! Reading what other people write is one great way! I finally see the goodness of READING BOOKS!
Sometimes, it's just me but I tend to wonder what's the reason behind people doing a certain activity. That day in Utopia, on Sunday, it was slow again 2 hrs before closing @ 9.30pm, I started to fix some sequins in the end and 30 mins passed like 1 min cos I was so focused in finding the beads and stuff! Yeah! That's one thing I can do in future, look through garments and fix loose sequins! So fun - colourful world. My lurve for colours...
还是我应该改写华文的部落格。
我觉得，写中文的我和写英文的我仿佛是两个不同的人。
我又不清楚怎样的不同，但总之，我可以肯定的是：写中文的人没有那么罗嗦！句子比较简洁，因为用华文来表达事物可以浓缩事物于短短几个字里 - 是神奇的特性！
热爱生活、热爱活着的每分每秒才是能使自己找到属于自己快乐生活的关键！（这是我目前最更新的想法！）因为，得去做事情，投入事情，得到的满足感会让你觉得活着是再美好不过的事了！
还有，刚才我随意提起我蛮有兴趣去Mediacorp当配音员，“A Pink Robot" 也说她有同感！
其实，我还是对events management 有兴趣，因为筹备活动算是“孕育”的一种吧。（曾经阅读到巨蟹座喜欢培养、孕育的过程。）然后，看自己努力过后的结果，真是人生一大快事！让我想想以前的例子。。。
*搜寻脑子当中“。。。
JJC Prom Night 的时候！那时，我富有使命感，虽然身为logistics officer的我最后做出最大的贡献就是再Prom Night 当晚表演跳舞。但是，我还是有强烈的参与感！
当我尽心尽力写卡片给好友时，然后他们有感动到 - 我也感到十分满足和充分体验到“活着”的感觉。Feel alive.
因为，我真的是去仔细翻阅以前记录下来的点点滴滴，真的是要让对方感动！
Eh, 我突然发觉自己是那么重视自己在别人心目中的位置，当然指的是我重视的人。我真的很无奈自己多么喜欢在别人心里有特别位置的那种喜悦感！
接下来可以期待的是：Speedwing road show, can meet my 大姐们！They can 骂醒我！
I so hope to go capoeira this coming Sunday cos I finally am free to go. Shuhui baby, must go if you can make it oke? Cos PoH Poh Ying specifically said she'll make that day free for us! I need laughing therapy! Doing crazy stuff, feeling all my emotions and releasing them!
My gush, this is never ending. STOP NOW!
I think "The tide is High" has a really sweet melody - the song!
GO AND WRITE HC204 小论文 AND DO HC151 大作业 LATER!
不要再临时抱佛脚！Now is such a great time to be able to engage myself in learning, be engrossed in knowledge! Be lost in that world (but of course not losing myself totally in it)...
Haha ha hahaha yeah! Finally, a more cheery post!
Say byebye (not see you later) to the melancholy! Don't come back, at least for a rather long while...
Just now, Tang Tang Wei say "恩~你正常情況下就是喜怒無常的“
I should probably think how I should change that, make my moods more stable, but I really don't want to THINK TOO MUCH! That has been my main personality trait for as long as I can remember, suddenly, I get it!
I don't want to let go of it, don't wanna change that despite how miserable I get sometimes, cos there'd be no me! Gush, I so need to re-think about everything again. So complicated...
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Post Comment - that you lurve Da Dong too haha
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