{/Tuesday, August 26, 2008, @11:04 PM.
{ Don't you think... }
Title: Don't you think...
Don't you think that people are very different after you know them? Like, the first impressions you have of people is usually very different from who they really are... I remember Annie, our other female RC. At first, she seemed kinda curt but then I realized she's so giggly. Thanks for your green tea lip balm! I lurve it - so healthy and organic haha!
Daniel too... The first time I ever met him was in Laurel's lobby. I was on my way to work after going down the stairs and he was sitting on the oh-so-filthy couch beside the main door with a box of chips right in front of him. He asked, "You want some chips" and he looked kinda apprehensive to me haha, like breaking out in cold sweat (I wonder why). So I tot he was those goody-two-shoes kinda boy haha. Some time later, I was blogging on my laptop while the rest were playing Risk (the first time we - Evelyn & me - hung out in the lobby doing things with people, I think). Daniel was sitting behind me by the couch right below the phone and he suddenly asked me "I've always wondered... How do you type your Chinese characters on the computer?" I ended up showing him and that got us talking and Evelyn joined in and voila - I've got a new friend called Dear Daniel! Ha, it's so funny that Daniel knows Dear Daniel doesn't have a mouth (I think he did say that.) Oooh, I should really remember that one should take the initiative cos you never know how many wonderful friendships will happen from tat. :D
That started our late nights in the lobby, hanging out, laughing YELL LOADS, doing yoga & stretching, bitching about annoying motherfu*ckin RCs haa.. Yes, exercising in the lobby in the middle of the night in jim-jams. Robin can really flip! Omigush, Daniel, I never knew you could do shoulder stands haha. It was just really simple but I really had such good times, till the extent that I'd go to bed at 2 or 3am in the mornings when I planned to lead a healthy lifestyle in Yellowstone cos I wasn't doing that in Singapore. After Daniel left, it was like the first part of my Yellowstone adventure ended and another started ahhahaa... Oooh, I digressed. What I meant to say was that Daniel is so different from the first impression I had of him. He turned out to be such a funny and interesting guy. I cannot use words to describe him. You have to experience him. He's such a good sport, tells really funny stories, has the ability to make everything look so alive. The way you use f*ckin in your sentences is just way amazing and beyond words. You really gotta hear it. I've also posted your spinning on the floor videos on youtube hehe! Enjoy them! Don't hate your life, I don't think you'll ever do that haha... You lurve life too much - i think! :D *_*
And when ppl ask you, "why you do this this this or that that that", reply them with... WHY NOT???? It's such a powerful phrase to me now! I really think I do different things since I got back. That magical and oh-so-intriguing-enchanting feeling that I get from reading my favourite fiction books - has come back to me! :D
今天，没那么烦了。多谢我的好朋友们。谢谢于婕！Taiwan rocks! I asked her why do I feel so restless, like my mind just can't seem to stop racing for a while... Her replies... (I'm gonna put them here to remember m_m)
"需要時間來適應
真的
一天兩天沒有辦法
但是花上一年兩年就會慢慢 ok
哈 我們在美國都太開心啦!!
對吧
所以會比較不喜歡回到原本生活"
Catherine, Meng Ru (Cat's fren), Evelyn, Kyla, Sze Ying, Pui Ee
(the first pic we took @ the airport - thks Taiwan frens, *我虽然玩到很累，但真的很好玩啊！再见！*
More pics next time. I hate it that whenever I upload pics, my paragraphs are gone, they become one big lump. Sucker man...
That is like what Hai Hailin, Charmaine Da-jie, Xiaodan and Corine told me when I kinda asked them that. They said it's cos Singapore is reality and I don't want to come back. Charmaine even said cos in Yellowstone, it was too nice cos we know we have Singapore to fall back on if we suffered in Yellowstone, but there's no where to run to if we meet with problems in Singapore... So I'll just take my time to adapt. I was confused, like what do I have to adapt to, since I've lived in Singapore all my life. After chatting with 于婕 Catherine today, I realized it's how different I felt when I was in Yellowstone as compared to Singapore. I compare living in these 2 places unconsciously, so I feel like I don't really wanna be here in Singapore... That said, I gotta try to "adapt" back, to my routine life and bla bla.(the first pic we took @ the airport - thks Taiwan frens, *我虽然玩到很累，但真的很好玩啊！再见！*
More pics next time. I hate it that whenever I upload pics, my paragraphs are gone, they become one big lump. Sucker man...
Corine has a point too. She said
"i think once u have dancing in ur life
u won't be restless anymore cuz tt's ur passion"
I kinda feel that I've lost direction cos dancing used to be such a big part of my life in the past. I had once spent so much time in Xen in different periods of my life... I'm going to try my best for MJ audition this thursday. If it doesn't work out, I'm going to O school with Geraldine and Wendy. I really cannot STOP DANCING. It sorta makes me liveless, I guess... That awesome adrenaline rush - that high I get - I get it thru dancing. I've had a number of people thinking I was drunk when I was dancing, haha. Cos supposedly, many ppl out there need alcohol to get high and only then, they can start dancing. I just feel high when the music's to my liking! FEEL THE MUSIC! GET HIGH! R n B only though. I freeze in my steps when retro comes on ahha.
DONT' BE SCARED, KYLALALALALALLALA HAHA. GOOD LUCK TO ME! Don't let fear get in the way! Live a crazy life. Get high!
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{/Monday, August 25, 2008, @10:42 PM.
{ re-connecting was great, the world is so interesting }
TITLE: Re-connecting was great, the world is so interesting I re-connected with Jennifer outside Butter Factory on 23 Aug 08' (Sat). Time just seems to fly by when you're having a great time and when what u're doing is really enjoyable. I cannot agree with that enough! The dancing in the club wasn't too bad, but it wasn't THAT GREat. I've had much better, more whoopsy doodley fun back in Yellowstone National Park's Old Faithful village's employees' pub! WAHHHHH! I so miss those days. One of The best times of mylife... I felt so free with so many crazy people and I was crazy! Well, 2 hrs just went by like 2 mins - seriously when I was chatting with Jennifer. I was still in a dilemma if I shd go that night cos Mama doesn't want me to go. She's so funny. I just reached the club sometime past midnight. She called and said, "When are you coming back?" I said I just reached the club and maybe 2 or 3am. She went, "Come back now" and hung up. I'm like "what the f*ck" - WAHAHAH but it was really funny! Halfway thru, Jennifer was gonna pass out from a heatstroke if we don't go out for fresh air and escaping from all-so-sweaty-many-bodies everywhere! I went out with her to get a drink from 7-11 and we just sat and chatted outside. We talked about so many things, mainly people, personalities, how weird things work sometimes and so on... Really insightful and I guess life is like that. We get inspired and learn from others (at least to me)...
@ Butter Factory past midnight (23 Aug 08' Sat)
Jennifer, I was so glad I went (like I told you in my text)... Must meet up more often! And I nv thought I'd have golden/yellow hair ever in my life...
There's Jennifer, Kyla Ng, Wan Tong and Joel. New friends. :)
I've been on the net for abt 3 hrs??? since I've MIA frm cyber world for 3 days aha. I was just away from home. Sat - Out for Speedwing feedback session and catching up/hanging out with my dear frens from Yellowstone. As usual - kana shoot by Xiaohui Da-jie, Charmaine Da-jie and Shan-er Da-jie but their shooting helps me ahha. :D At night, I went for dinner with Kershin Jie-jie and her bf Chun Chun. Thanks for the dinner and ride home! Happy Belated Bday Kershin Jiejie - 22nd Aug 08'. Sun - Working in Parkway Parade frm 12.30pm to 8.30pm and I ended up at home only at 12 midnight. Cos I took buses - $1.90 compared to more than 2 bucks or even 3 bucks if I take bus-train-bus. 2 days gone like that... I want to write more, read more, exercise??? hehe, DANCE! I was watching some salsa videos on youtube like Oliver + Luda, Alex Da Silva and some hiphop ones (Rino - one of the Harajuku gurls, back-up dancer for Gwen Stefani, Britney Spears and many more). I just felt so dancey and got up and danced a bit to the hot, catchy salsa tunes! Shimmying like f*ck! WAHA!
These days, I'm starting to do things I never would have done in the past. The first time ever in my life, I listened to music as I went home. I walked home from school today. Upon reaching downstairs, I sat at the void deck and just listened to music and reminisced about Yellowstone again. It's like I have to keep on doing something when I'm alone - if not, my mind would go BHAM! (burst/explode) with all those different random thoughts racing and I can't get them to stop. But sometimes, I want times when I can do nothing and just be in a daze. It's contradictory but I guess for now, I'm better off doing something than not doing anything now... If not, I think too much and end up being more miserable.
烦啊，希望郁闷的日子快点过去。当然，我知道我的情绪起伏很大。本以为自己的情况已经有好转，但事实并非如此。我还是放不下。刚才，我们（有爸爸，小桑和我）在整理房间，像“摆家乐”一样，要丢掉一些超级占位的书本。但是，拿起时，我又舍不得丢，所以需要动员其他人的手帮我丢。咳，吴凯拉啊吴凯拉，还是放不下。啊，不能再想太多。 桑桑刚才说我是那种“连吃一碗面都有办法想到很多其它事情去的人”。她简直就是我肚子里的蛔虫。我问她怎么知道。她说那是因为她和我一样，“有想太多的倾向”。那我问她怎么不会像我那样烦躁？她便说她有时已经到快疯掉的程度，然后就没事了。对，我相信事情到了一个顶峰，便会慢慢往下滑。所以，人生就是一直的起伏不断。 我现在不大清楚自己要什么。我也觉得自己有点无病呻吟，但我不知该怎么做。所以，只好烦下去吧。至少，我知道当“烦”的时期渡过了，我就会好了。Natasha Bedingfield's "Pocketful of Sunshine" - "I smile up to the sky... I know I'll be alright"... 哈哈，我觉得我写华文有时会有点夸张，仿佛是为了“多愁善感”而“多愁善感”。管他的。
To Dear Daniel: WHEE! I miss you so much toooooooo!!!!! Hahaha, go get drugs and take a video of yourself doing it? AHAH, that'd be so interesting! Finally, your blanket is clean now. The f*ckin rain sucked and I had to re-wash it cos it got onto your blanket I was drying! :D You are so funny, probably the funniest in your own way I've ever met. I miss ya! Hugs! Below are some pics I have of you. I have some videos of you and I'm gonna post them on youtube later! mwahahha...
Our RC Daniel with a broom, he was sweeping the stairs.
Yea, he's working, real hard...
We paid you, Daniel a visit when you were working @ Bitter Root on 29 May 08' (Thu).
Gush, gone are the days. I lurved it so much when we were all hanging out together! ARGH, I'm emo again...
Lancey Boy! You are so splendidly funny!
You're a great imitator, I look forward to watching you in comedies!
P.S. Do you know how to stop your mind racing with thoughts? Like how to shut them up? Gimme something more interesting than "go do something", "get busy"(what my Mama said), "occupy yourself"...
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@ Butter Factory past midnight (23 Aug 08' Sat)
Jennifer, I was so glad I went (like I told you in my text)... Must meet up more often! And I nv thought I'd have golden/yellow hair ever in my life...
There's Jennifer, Kyla Ng, Wan Tong and Joel. New friends. :)
I've been on the net for abt 3 hrs??? since I've MIA frm cyber world for 3 days aha. I was just away from home. Sat - Out for Speedwing feedback session and catching up/hanging out with my dear frens from Yellowstone. As usual - kana shoot by Xiaohui Da-jie, Charmaine Da-jie and Shan-er Da-jie but their shooting helps me ahha. :D At night, I went for dinner with Kershin Jie-jie and her bf Chun Chun. Thanks for the dinner and ride home! Happy Belated Bday Kershin Jiejie - 22nd Aug 08'. Sun - Working in Parkway Parade frm 12.30pm to 8.30pm and I ended up at home only at 12 midnight. Cos I took buses - $1.90 compared to more than 2 bucks or even 3 bucks if I take bus-train-bus. 2 days gone like that... I want to write more, read more, exercise??? hehe, DANCE! I was watching some salsa videos on youtube like Oliver + Luda, Alex Da Silva and some hiphop ones (Rino - one of the Harajuku gurls, back-up dancer for Gwen Stefani, Britney Spears and many more). I just felt so dancey and got up and danced a bit to the hot, catchy salsa tunes! Shimmying like f*ck! WAHA!
These days, I'm starting to do things I never would have done in the past. The first time ever in my life, I listened to music as I went home. I walked home from school today. Upon reaching downstairs, I sat at the void deck and just listened to music and reminisced about Yellowstone again. It's like I have to keep on doing something when I'm alone - if not, my mind would go BHAM! (burst/explode) with all those different random thoughts racing and I can't get them to stop. But sometimes, I want times when I can do nothing and just be in a daze. It's contradictory but I guess for now, I'm better off doing something than not doing anything now... If not, I think too much and end up being more miserable.
烦啊，希望郁闷的日子快点过去。当然，我知道我的情绪起伏很大。本以为自己的情况已经有好转，但事实并非如此。我还是放不下。刚才，我们（有爸爸，小桑和我）在整理房间，像“摆家乐”一样，要丢掉一些超级占位的书本。但是，拿起时，我又舍不得丢，所以需要动员其他人的手帮我丢。咳，吴凯拉啊吴凯拉，还是放不下。啊，不能再想太多。 桑桑刚才说我是那种“连吃一碗面都有办法想到很多其它事情去的人”。她简直就是我肚子里的蛔虫。我问她怎么知道。她说那是因为她和我一样，“有想太多的倾向”。那我问她怎么不会像我那样烦躁？她便说她有时已经到快疯掉的程度，然后就没事了。对，我相信事情到了一个顶峰，便会慢慢往下滑。所以，人生就是一直的起伏不断。 我现在不大清楚自己要什么。我也觉得自己有点无病呻吟，但我不知该怎么做。所以，只好烦下去吧。至少，我知道当“烦”的时期渡过了，我就会好了。Natasha Bedingfield's "Pocketful of Sunshine" - "I smile up to the sky... I know I'll be alright"... 哈哈，我觉得我写华文有时会有点夸张，仿佛是为了“多愁善感”而“多愁善感”。管他的。
To Dear Daniel: WHEE! I miss you so much toooooooo!!!!! Hahaha, go get drugs and take a video of yourself doing it? AHAH, that'd be so interesting! Finally, your blanket is clean now. The f*ckin rain sucked and I had to re-wash it cos it got onto your blanket I was drying! :D You are so funny, probably the funniest in your own way I've ever met. I miss ya! Hugs! Below are some pics I have of you. I have some videos of you and I'm gonna post them on youtube later! mwahahha...
Our RC Daniel with a broom, he was sweeping the stairs.
Yea, he's working, real hard...
We paid you, Daniel a visit when you were working @ Bitter Root on 29 May 08' (Thu).
Gush, gone are the days. I lurved it so much when we were all hanging out together! ARGH, I'm emo again...
Lancey Boy! You are so splendidly funny!
You're a great imitator, I look forward to watching you in comedies!
P.S. Do you know how to stop your mind racing with thoughts? Like how to shut them up? Gimme something more interesting than "go do something", "get busy"(what my Mama said), "occupy yourself"...
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{/Monday, August 18, 2008, @12:00 AM.
{ I need to do things! So I won't think too much and emo... }
Title: I need to do things! So I won't think too much and emo...
Stole this from Pui Ee's blog... “Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.” --- Ida Scott Taylor
Thks Pui Ee for your tag hee, makes me feel better to know one more person misses Yellowstone too ahha.
I have heard so many different versions of the quote up there. So many people realize that it's the key to being happy every moment. I really gonna try hard to do it from now onwards. I'm wrong, I tot I could control my emotions but I'm actually far from it. I've been emotional and oke, I admit it, I want to be. I can't imagine myself not being emotional - like that's how I've lived for the past 19 years, what am I supposed to do if I stop doing it???? Enough of the above "thinking too much" again aha. One thing I've grown to realize... I really need to FIND THINGS TO DO, cos if I'm free, I think too much and easily emo. Cos of Yellowstone Adventure ha.
I'm thinking of going INSTEP in my 3rd year semester 1 to Mexico. I was looking thru the associated websites yesterday and was gonna apply for it. But the application that ends today for INSTEP is only for semester 2, which means nxt January to June. I don't want to travel so soon again, it's kinda nice to be in one place for a long time. I'm just so sick of packing and unpacking, lugging my heavy luggage everywhere again. Besides, I have a changed opinion of travelling now after these 3 mths abroad. I used to think I really lurve travellin' haha. But after leaving Yellowstone, my 3 weeks of travelling isn't as great or as enjoyable to me. I've been finding many reasons for it. They include still being emo bcos of Yellowstone, not having enough rest cos I go online in the wee hours in the location I'm at to try to chat with frens frm Yellowstone/upload pics/chat with frens in Singapore, nothing much to do ahha. (I find that if I dont' have anything specific to do when travelling, I EAT! MY EYES are WIDE OPEN O_O for food ha.) I even came to the conclusion that travelling = eating + shopping. Very superficial 肤浅 hor...
I've changed it to travelling = eating + shopping + visiting places + watching people walk past + beautiful colours, structures, patterns everywhere. That's my new opinion! Look out for all the things around me, in my surroundings, wherever I am... When I went to JP a few days ago, went to Vivo, took the train, took the bus, I felt like I were doing all those things for the first time in my life. It's pretty refreshing. I'm so grateful that Singapore's train system is nowhere like New York's subway. I know when the next train will arrive - how many mins. Some frens know I don't like to say MRT, cos I personally like trains a lot haha. The train ride frm Harriman(New Jersey) to Hoboken (New York) was really enjoyable ha. We were on our way to Woodbury Factory Outlet! 220 shops I heard, all gathered in one place ha.
There like no governement (没有政府)haha, do what you want there. Pui Ee + me in first pic, Kyla (me) in 2nd pic.
Pretty layout right? The seats look so plush & comfy. ZiYing + Pui Ee on board first...
Today, I didn't miss Yellowstone as much. But I still miss it. I'm happy that I'm not so emo about it, I just have to find things to distract me. I'm gonna start work in Utopia again. Say hi to dinero (money in spanish) haha. I'm resuming tuition in September too so I'll be at home less often. I'm so glad I have a 4 day week, I'm off study on Wed but most probably working too. i NEED GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT! Study hard, so if I ever go Mexico for INSTEP for 3rd yr first sem, i don't have to worry about grades. Cos if you go for INSTEP, you only need to pass or fail cos the grades u get won't affect ur GPA in Singapore, has its good and bad thou.
Alrighty, I slept at 7am on 17 Aug 08' (Sun) and woke at almost 6pm! ARGH! I shouldn't do this kind of things anymore now that I'm home. I think I slept @ 8 plus am one morning and woke @ 1pm to go work. I was up to go online to plan my timetable cos internet is much faster in the wee hours. I decided not to sleep and eat breakfast so I went out, wrapped in a blanket at 5 plus am ha. I did some stretching alone in front of the geyser basin but the sun had already rose and it was hidden by clouds when I was there. I didn't get to see sunrise haha. But it was pretty nice, except that Daniel's brown blanket had too much static that it hurt! I still lurve it though and no more static in humid Singapore ha. Mmm, I really need to sleep.
READ MORE BOOKS! Mary Janice Davidson is such an awesome writer! I lurve her books. Currently reading: "Undead and Unappreciated" by Mary Janice Davidson.
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Stole this from Pui Ee's blog... “Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.” --- Ida Scott Taylor
Thks Pui Ee for your tag hee, makes me feel better to know one more person misses Yellowstone too ahha.
I have heard so many different versions of the quote up there. So many people realize that it's the key to being happy every moment. I really gonna try hard to do it from now onwards. I'm wrong, I tot I could control my emotions but I'm actually far from it. I've been emotional and oke, I admit it, I want to be. I can't imagine myself not being emotional - like that's how I've lived for the past 19 years, what am I supposed to do if I stop doing it???? Enough of the above "thinking too much" again aha. One thing I've grown to realize... I really need to FIND THINGS TO DO, cos if I'm free, I think too much and easily emo. Cos of Yellowstone Adventure ha.
I'm thinking of going INSTEP in my 3rd year semester 1 to Mexico. I was looking thru the associated websites yesterday and was gonna apply for it. But the application that ends today for INSTEP is only for semester 2, which means nxt January to June. I don't want to travel so soon again, it's kinda nice to be in one place for a long time. I'm just so sick of packing and unpacking, lugging my heavy luggage everywhere again. Besides, I have a changed opinion of travelling now after these 3 mths abroad. I used to think I really lurve travellin' haha. But after leaving Yellowstone, my 3 weeks of travelling isn't as great or as enjoyable to me. I've been finding many reasons for it. They include still being emo bcos of Yellowstone, not having enough rest cos I go online in the wee hours in the location I'm at to try to chat with frens frm Yellowstone/upload pics/chat with frens in Singapore, nothing much to do ahha. (I find that if I dont' have anything specific to do when travelling, I EAT! MY EYES are WIDE OPEN O_O for food ha.) I even came to the conclusion that travelling = eating + shopping. Very superficial 肤浅 hor...
I've changed it to travelling = eating + shopping + visiting places + watching people walk past + beautiful colours, structures, patterns everywhere. That's my new opinion! Look out for all the things around me, in my surroundings, wherever I am... When I went to JP a few days ago, went to Vivo, took the train, took the bus, I felt like I were doing all those things for the first time in my life. It's pretty refreshing. I'm so grateful that Singapore's train system is nowhere like New York's subway. I know when the next train will arrive - how many mins. Some frens know I don't like to say MRT, cos I personally like trains a lot haha. The train ride frm Harriman(New Jersey) to Hoboken (New York) was really enjoyable ha. We were on our way to Woodbury Factory Outlet! 220 shops I heard, all gathered in one place ha.
There like no governement (没有政府)haha, do what you want there. Pui Ee + me in first pic, Kyla (me) in 2nd pic.
Pretty layout right? The seats look so plush & comfy. ZiYing + Pui Ee on board first...
Today, I didn't miss Yellowstone as much. But I still miss it. I'm happy that I'm not so emo about it, I just have to find things to distract me. I'm gonna start work in Utopia again. Say hi to dinero (money in spanish) haha. I'm resuming tuition in September too so I'll be at home less often. I'm so glad I have a 4 day week, I'm off study on Wed but most probably working too. i NEED GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT! Study hard, so if I ever go Mexico for INSTEP for 3rd yr first sem, i don't have to worry about grades. Cos if you go for INSTEP, you only need to pass or fail cos the grades u get won't affect ur GPA in Singapore, has its good and bad thou.
Alrighty, I slept at 7am on 17 Aug 08' (Sun) and woke at almost 6pm! ARGH! I shouldn't do this kind of things anymore now that I'm home. I think I slept @ 8 plus am one morning and woke @ 1pm to go work. I was up to go online to plan my timetable cos internet is much faster in the wee hours. I decided not to sleep and eat breakfast so I went out, wrapped in a blanket at 5 plus am ha. I did some stretching alone in front of the geyser basin but the sun had already rose and it was hidden by clouds when I was there. I didn't get to see sunrise haha. But it was pretty nice, except that Daniel's brown blanket had too much static that it hurt! I still lurve it though and no more static in humid Singapore ha. Mmm, I really need to sleep.
READ MORE BOOKS! Mary Janice Davidson is such an awesome writer! I lurve her books. Currently reading: "Undead and Unappreciated" by Mary Janice Davidson.
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{/Friday, August 15, 2008, @8:09 AM.
{ It felt like it never happened... }
Title: It felt like it never happened...
Dear Yellowstone,
It felt like I've never visited you... It feels so surreal, despite looking at the pics over and over again. I spend so much time thinking, reminiscing each and every day, but it feels like a dream. 很像泡影。
I have ambiguous feelings towards you. I want to forget you, at least make myself stop thinking about you so much. That's cos I'm not concentrating/paying attention in class now! My mind drifts off and you appear. You're a faraway land so unreachable to me now... I know I need to move on and although this feeling of missing you so badly hurts and makes me so uncomfortable, I don't want to let go. I felt so free once, I was so happy once (amidst my tears from time to time... :D).
Even if I go back nw, things have already changed. Like the day before (Wed 13 Aug 08'), I was chatting with Sasha on Skype. Through his webcam, I saw Max (his roommate whom Evelyn and I kept thinking he's fierce but tat day I saw him smile so I've changed my impression of him ha) playing the guitar. They were singing. Olga and Sasha sang "here with you baby" song for me, according to them haha. They sang some other Ukrainian songs too.
When Sasha went out of his room to go to the corridor, I saw Lily and Fanny! I lost control and screamed! I miss them so very much til this very day - I realized... Later I saw AJ too! I was so happy seeing them. AJ was with Alien Matt. Both of them really have very cute looks. AJ was like, "Kyla, I'm going to marry Lily." WAHHAA, I lol! Cos in the past, he told everyone Evelyn n I were his wives ha. Then i went, "No, you can't you're my husband". But I think he didn't hear me and he ran away. Sasha did though. *embarrassed* ahha...
I gotta go sch now. Update pics later...
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Dear Yellowstone,
It felt like I've never visited you... It feels so surreal, despite looking at the pics over and over again. I spend so much time thinking, reminiscing each and every day, but it feels like a dream. 很像泡影。
I have ambiguous feelings towards you. I want to forget you, at least make myself stop thinking about you so much. That's cos I'm not concentrating/paying attention in class now! My mind drifts off and you appear. You're a faraway land so unreachable to me now... I know I need to move on and although this feeling of missing you so badly hurts and makes me so uncomfortable, I don't want to let go. I felt so free once, I was so happy once (amidst my tears from time to time... :D).
Even if I go back nw, things have already changed. Like the day before (Wed 13 Aug 08'), I was chatting with Sasha on Skype. Through his webcam, I saw Max (his roommate whom Evelyn and I kept thinking he's fierce but tat day I saw him smile so I've changed my impression of him ha) playing the guitar. They were singing. Olga and Sasha sang "here with you baby" song for me, according to them haha. They sang some other Ukrainian songs too.
When Sasha went out of his room to go to the corridor, I saw Lily and Fanny! I lost control and screamed! I miss them so very much til this very day - I realized... Later I saw AJ too! I was so happy seeing them. AJ was with Alien Matt. Both of them really have very cute looks. AJ was like, "Kyla, I'm going to marry Lily." WAHHAA, I lol! Cos in the past, he told everyone Evelyn n I were his wives ha. Then i went, "No, you can't you're my husband". But I think he didn't hear me and he ran away. Sasha did though. *embarrassed* ahha...
I gotta go sch now. Update pics later...
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{/Monday, August 11, 2008, @10:44 AM.
Title: I'm home but I don't know what to do again.
I'm home now, as many would know. It feels like my Yellowstone adventure has never happened. Whatever I did there and the people I met there, it feels non-existent. I wonder when I will stop emo-ing. I asked my mama how do I stop missing Yellowstone, she said "get busy". Hopefully when school starts and I start dancing, I'll stop being so sad...
Have i mentioned that I felt very free in Yellowstone? I just have to be myself, I like to be crazy and do whatever I want to. Though I've had my sad times, times when I cry, my memories of Yellowstone are still fun-filled and happy. I so wanna go back! ARGH! It's different from when I'm at home, I care what others think of me from time to time and bcome self-conscious really easily. Mmm, I shd prolly think about how I could make myself have that free feeling I felt in Yellowstone in Singapore too...!!! Goody good good, something for me to work on.
I'm seriously thinking if I shd make a photo log of what we did in Yellowstone EVERYDAY, well plus my travelling too. It's a lot to do but at least I document whatever I did thr. Helps me sort out what I did thr so I can write in my hand-written diary log better. Even if no one reads it, I read it hee... (self-consolation, great step to being nice to myself, lurving myself and feeling free)
I like...
To be able to lurve myself.
The free feeling of being myself in Yellowstone.
To dance.
I have a little wish to dance in musicals (maybe ambitious looking @ where I stand now - kinda like nowhere) or in theme parks for shows and stuff. So happy dancing, so many colours all around me, so many people having fun at one shot, same place... I had a lot of fun dancing in employees' pub during the monthly parties held! I so enjoy it cos I'm totally crazy.
Thks Cosmin for the amazing salsa dancing, for telling me I'm an amazing dancer til I dunno wad to say, just very very exuberantly surprised. John too, you're a great lead and though I feel like a midget beside you, I had the bestest time dancing with ya. The last time I danced with you, I was panting like mad cos I've never felt so tired from dancing before - what a wonderful way to be tired! I felt like I went all out and sweated it all out! Thks Terence for saying whenever I dance, I sorta change the impression that Americans have of Asians. That is something SO nice of you to say. Thks Mavliuda for telling me what Sasha thinks of my dancing, that he can watch me dance for a long time cos it's so enjoyable. (Oh gush, I feel like I'm self So maybe when I start dancing, I'll get the rush of feeling high like I did when I dance so crazily back in Yellowstone. Everything will be fine, I'll learn to put the past, safekeep it in a little corner of my heart.
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I'm home now, as many would know. It feels like my Yellowstone adventure has never happened. Whatever I did there and the people I met there, it feels non-existent. I wonder when I will stop emo-ing. I asked my mama how do I stop missing Yellowstone, she said "get busy". Hopefully when school starts and I start dancing, I'll stop being so sad...
Have i mentioned that I felt very free in Yellowstone? I just have to be myself, I like to be crazy and do whatever I want to. Though I've had my sad times, times when I cry, my memories of Yellowstone are still fun-filled and happy. I so wanna go back! ARGH! It's different from when I'm at home, I care what others think of me from time to time and bcome self-conscious really easily. Mmm, I shd prolly think about how I could make myself have that free feeling I felt in Yellowstone in Singapore too...!!! Goody good good, something for me to work on.
I'm seriously thinking if I shd make a photo log of what we did in Yellowstone EVERYDAY, well plus my travelling too. It's a lot to do but at least I document whatever I did thr. Helps me sort out what I did thr so I can write in my hand-written diary log better. Even if no one reads it, I read it hee... (self-consolation, great step to being nice to myself, lurving myself and feeling free)
I like...
To be able to lurve myself.
The free feeling of being myself in Yellowstone.
To dance.
I have a little wish to dance in musicals (maybe ambitious looking @ where I stand now - kinda like nowhere) or in theme parks for shows and stuff. So happy dancing, so many colours all around me, so many people having fun at one shot, same place... I had a lot of fun dancing in employees' pub during the monthly parties held! I so enjoy it cos I'm totally crazy.
Thks Cosmin for the amazing salsa dancing, for telling me I'm an amazing dancer til I dunno wad to say, just very very exuberantly surprised. John too, you're a great lead and though I feel like a midget beside you, I had the bestest time dancing with ya. The last time I danced with you, I was panting like mad cos I've never felt so tired from dancing before - what a wonderful way to be tired! I felt like I went all out and sweated it all out! Thks Terence for saying whenever I dance, I sorta change the impression that Americans have of Asians. That is something SO nice of you to say. Thks Mavliuda for telling me what Sasha thinks of my dancing, that he can watch me dance for a long time cos it's so enjoyable. (Oh gush, I feel like I'm self So maybe when I start dancing, I'll get the rush of feeling high like I did when I dance so crazily back in Yellowstone. Everything will be fine, I'll learn to put the past, safekeep it in a little corner of my heart.
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{/Saturday, August 09, 2008, @2:05 PM.
{ Title: The End of Something - Start of Something :D }
Title: The End of Something- Start of Something :D
I'm in Taoyuan airport waiting for my plane that departs @ 3.55pm, but it's only 2.04pm now. I'm kinda emotional again today. This signifies the end of my stay abroad for 3 mths + 4 days. By 9.30pm, I'll get to see some of the people dearest to my heart. I get to go home, back to my safe haven. It's so confusing and I've got a whirlpool of thoughts.
I'm sick and tired of all the travelling, getting frm one place to another with all the luggage I've got. (I've got two trolley bags now, one is much bigger and heavier and 1 of the wheels got damaged on my 1st day in Taiwan - it felt like I was pulling a bag that weighed a million tonnes and I got so pissed and I was the one lagging at the back. I learnt that the only way to make it thru is to run and pull it, making use of the force of running the next day, so I was running thru the train station on the 2nd day ahha...) It's funny and sad that the Taiwanese aren't that helpful with our luggage ha. Only one bus uncle helped us shift our luggage. The rest of the buses we took, we were like coolies. Well, that makes us strong... And lethargic right after. Really "ka neng" (means leg go soft hah). Guess we're spoilt from the treatment we got in the US. Ppl, strangers in the subway will offer to help us carry our luggage up the stairs. The shuttle we booked to send us to the airport helped us too. Maybe that's why it felt so sad when we got to Taiwan and we had to do everyting by ourselves.
All 4 of us skipped sch for a week and thank goodiness it's national day today and we've a day off frm sch on monday! Whee hee hee! I finally get a 4-day week in school and I've only got 5 modules. I'm thinking if I should take on one more. Sigh, but the hC232 the warring states module and HT201 translation module will be pretty hard. I'll think about it later then ahah.
Mmm, I guess I just don't wanna let go... Argh! does this mean I'm thinking too much again? Yes!
i should jus stop thinking about it... Dadada... Dunno wad else to write.
I was asking Pui Ee if she felt weird going back to Singapore jus now when I was talking abt it with Evelyn jus now. She said she feels weird a lil', cos dunno hw to start doing everything. After she said it, I feel it too. My room has changed cos Sang is using my bed frame for her mattress while I'm gone. It's just so unbelievable I've been to Yellowstone, the USA (Taiwan still can believe). It's like a bubble, a "pao ying'. It's so surreal, like a dream. I guess that's cos it's so far away and I can nv go back to that point in time when I was there. With the same people, the same circumstances... Hmm, bet whoever is reading this can tell I'm thinking too much but these thoughts just keep popping up. I jus can't help thinking about Yellowstone, missin' yellowstone. It's so beautiful and we haven't explored the whole of it yet, there are a no. of other villages like Mammoth Hot Springs, Roosevelt, Lake, Canyon, Grant Village, Fishing Bridge and I guess that's it. We're in Old Faithful and I've only been to Lake, Canyon, Grant and Fishing Bridge, but just driving around it, not hiking or fishing or whatever... Car rides are really nice cos u can see the scenery and stuff, we also went horseback riding with Abbie, yea! One more thing we did! It's so funny! hee!
Gush... What else, lemme think wad to write. OH and though we were tired in Taiwan, (I slept at/around/past 4am every night aha) I really liked it and will come back again. Cheap food, cheap stuff if you know where to go! It's great cos we stayed with Catherine Yu Jie! We thank her so much for her great hospitality! She's so considerate, thoughtful, nice and warm-hearted! I'll really miss you for a while, miss you for saying "are you angry?"/"Don't be angry with me". I'M NOT MAD/ANGRY HAHA! I'll mail the money and write letters to you ahah. Her friends were really great fun too. All 3 we met are so different but they're really nice to chat with. I've got tonnes of pictures and I plan to put them up so friends can see/acquire/get them! It's like suddenly I know so much ppl from all around the world. The world is so great out there!
LALALA, i'm kinda lazy to talk about our short but very fulfiling time in Taiwan now cos I'll blabber a lot and talk non stop. I have no pics anyway. But I guess even if nobody reads my blog, I can still read my entires of my travels myself in time to come. Argh, gotta go back to sch. Guess I'm only really looking forward to dancing again! I'm so deprived of dance classes! I wanted to take a dance class or 2 in San Francisco, LA and New York but we always stayed in one place too short and it's so hard to get around without a car.
(I'm trying to make myself anticipate going home argh ?~@**$$)
DADADA... crazy... I want to go back and read my comics like Daa! Daa! Daa!, Naruto, DeathNote. Catch up on fansubbing again... Read more... Hope to get into Modern Jazz and dance my life away (I realize how much I need to dance in US and HairSpray was really inspiring! I need to save more money so I can go for future exchanges (thou sometimes I worry that I'll not fit in and stuff. Kylalalalaa... Stop thinking too much and go for wadever u want to go for if you really want to!), i wanna go Taiwan visit Lily, Fanny, Jessy, Yu Jie - Miss PingDong, Shi Meng Ru - Miss 1st & 2nd day + Miss Washing Hands, Zhi Han (Raquel) - Miss Gaoxiong, Miss Tainan... Yippee yeah! Suddenly I feel so alive and there's so much I want to do. I wanna visit Mavliuda in Kergystan, Sasha in Russia, Seva + Ira in Ukraine, Luis + Christian + Luisa + Patty + Juan in Columbia, Cosmin + Andrei in Romania, Mike + AJ + Jordan + Annie + Daniel + Lance + Andy + Joe + Richelle + Jeremy + Branden + Drew + Kathryn + Kelly + John (South African) + Abbie + Paul in US! My gush, I'm missing so many ppl suddenly. Not to forget the many Chinese and Singaporeans in Singapore! Tang Tang Wei + Xiaohui + Charmian + Shan Er + Chen Bo + Dai Miao + Xiaodan + KL + Faith + Baojing + Ziting + Jia yuan...
Alrighty, at least I can still meet my dear new Singaporean cum Yellowstone friends in Singapore, not too bad. Yea I feel better at the thought of tat. To quote a line frm Mayday, I'll write the Mandarin words in my next entry. But it's like "If all these could happen again, it wouldn't be so beautiful". What the f*ck... I'm consoling myself. Woo Hoo! "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Money money money... Dance dance dance, dance like no one's watching. Go all out to gain all the experiences one can possibly gain! All the first times in my life! Enjoy life, live life to the fullest! Have a good life! I'm just trying to make my free time here meaningful. Yippee yeah, it's 3.09pm. This is such a long post ha. I'm writing every single tot tat flies past my mind now. I need to lose weight! I gained 10 pounds (abt 5kg) when i weighed myself on that thing you weigh your check-in luggage back in Bozeman when we were gonna fly to San Francisco on 19 Jul 08'.
Boo hoo! I bet I gained another 5kg from travelling in US for 2 weeks cos I ate ice-cream almost everyday. There were 2 days in New York when I ate ice-cream twice in a day! ARGH! In taiwan I drank 3 cups of bubble tea the 1st morning I got there cos I was so deprived! So much tapioca and pearls in me but I was kinda sick of shopping after factory outlet shopping @ woodbury in New York so I was looking out for food all the way ahah. Finally cheap food after 3 mths!
Neways, I gotta run to board our plane now! Whee hee! Tee Hee hee! See everyone in Singapore now. I must be a happy kid, a happy xiaopengyou!
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I'm in Taoyuan airport waiting for my plane that departs @ 3.55pm, but it's only 2.04pm now. I'm kinda emotional again today. This signifies the end of my stay abroad for 3 mths + 4 days. By 9.30pm, I'll get to see some of the people dearest to my heart. I get to go home, back to my safe haven. It's so confusing and I've got a whirlpool of thoughts.
I'm sick and tired of all the travelling, getting frm one place to another with all the luggage I've got. (I've got two trolley bags now, one is much bigger and heavier and 1 of the wheels got damaged on my 1st day in Taiwan - it felt like I was pulling a bag that weighed a million tonnes and I got so pissed and I was the one lagging at the back. I learnt that the only way to make it thru is to run and pull it, making use of the force of running the next day, so I was running thru the train station on the 2nd day ahha...) It's funny and sad that the Taiwanese aren't that helpful with our luggage ha. Only one bus uncle helped us shift our luggage. The rest of the buses we took, we were like coolies. Well, that makes us strong... And lethargic right after. Really "ka neng" (means leg go soft hah). Guess we're spoilt from the treatment we got in the US. Ppl, strangers in the subway will offer to help us carry our luggage up the stairs. The shuttle we booked to send us to the airport helped us too. Maybe that's why it felt so sad when we got to Taiwan and we had to do everyting by ourselves.
All 4 of us skipped sch for a week and thank goodiness it's national day today and we've a day off frm sch on monday! Whee hee hee! I finally get a 4-day week in school and I've only got 5 modules. I'm thinking if I should take on one more. Sigh, but the hC232 the warring states module and HT201 translation module will be pretty hard. I'll think about it later then ahah.
Mmm, I guess I just don't wanna let go... Argh! does this mean I'm thinking too much again? Yes!
i should jus stop thinking about it... Dadada... Dunno wad else to write.
I was asking Pui Ee if she felt weird going back to Singapore jus now when I was talking abt it with Evelyn jus now. She said she feels weird a lil', cos dunno hw to start doing everything. After she said it, I feel it too. My room has changed cos Sang is using my bed frame for her mattress while I'm gone. It's just so unbelievable I've been to Yellowstone, the USA (Taiwan still can believe). It's like a bubble, a "pao ying'. It's so surreal, like a dream. I guess that's cos it's so far away and I can nv go back to that point in time when I was there. With the same people, the same circumstances... Hmm, bet whoever is reading this can tell I'm thinking too much but these thoughts just keep popping up. I jus can't help thinking about Yellowstone, missin' yellowstone. It's so beautiful and we haven't explored the whole of it yet, there are a no. of other villages like Mammoth Hot Springs, Roosevelt, Lake, Canyon, Grant Village, Fishing Bridge and I guess that's it. We're in Old Faithful and I've only been to Lake, Canyon, Grant and Fishing Bridge, but just driving around it, not hiking or fishing or whatever... Car rides are really nice cos u can see the scenery and stuff, we also went horseback riding with Abbie, yea! One more thing we did! It's so funny! hee!
Gush... What else, lemme think wad to write. OH and though we were tired in Taiwan, (I slept at/around/past 4am every night aha) I really liked it and will come back again. Cheap food, cheap stuff if you know where to go! It's great cos we stayed with Catherine Yu Jie! We thank her so much for her great hospitality! She's so considerate, thoughtful, nice and warm-hearted! I'll really miss you for a while, miss you for saying "are you angry?"/"Don't be angry with me". I'M NOT MAD/ANGRY HAHA! I'll mail the money and write letters to you ahah. Her friends were really great fun too. All 3 we met are so different but they're really nice to chat with. I've got tonnes of pictures and I plan to put them up so friends can see/acquire/get them! It's like suddenly I know so much ppl from all around the world. The world is so great out there!
LALALA, i'm kinda lazy to talk about our short but very fulfiling time in Taiwan now cos I'll blabber a lot and talk non stop. I have no pics anyway. But I guess even if nobody reads my blog, I can still read my entires of my travels myself in time to come. Argh, gotta go back to sch. Guess I'm only really looking forward to dancing again! I'm so deprived of dance classes! I wanted to take a dance class or 2 in San Francisco, LA and New York but we always stayed in one place too short and it's so hard to get around without a car.
(I'm trying to make myself anticipate going home argh ?~@**$$)
DADADA... crazy... I want to go back and read my comics like Daa! Daa! Daa!, Naruto, DeathNote. Catch up on fansubbing again... Read more... Hope to get into Modern Jazz and dance my life away (I realize how much I need to dance in US and HairSpray was really inspiring! I need to save more money so I can go for future exchanges (thou sometimes I worry that I'll not fit in and stuff. Kylalalalaa... Stop thinking too much and go for wadever u want to go for if you really want to!), i wanna go Taiwan visit Lily, Fanny, Jessy, Yu Jie - Miss PingDong, Shi Meng Ru - Miss 1st & 2nd day + Miss Washing Hands, Zhi Han (Raquel) - Miss Gaoxiong, Miss Tainan... Yippee yeah! Suddenly I feel so alive and there's so much I want to do. I wanna visit Mavliuda in Kergystan, Sasha in Russia, Seva + Ira in Ukraine, Luis + Christian + Luisa + Patty + Juan in Columbia, Cosmin + Andrei in Romania, Mike + AJ + Jordan + Annie + Daniel + Lance + Andy + Joe + Richelle + Jeremy + Branden + Drew + Kathryn + Kelly + John (South African) + Abbie + Paul in US! My gush, I'm missing so many ppl suddenly. Not to forget the many Chinese and Singaporeans in Singapore! Tang Tang Wei + Xiaohui + Charmian + Shan Er + Chen Bo + Dai Miao + Xiaodan + KL + Faith + Baojing + Ziting + Jia yuan...
Alrighty, at least I can still meet my dear new Singaporean cum Yellowstone friends in Singapore, not too bad. Yea I feel better at the thought of tat. To quote a line frm Mayday, I'll write the Mandarin words in my next entry. But it's like "If all these could happen again, it wouldn't be so beautiful". What the f*ck... I'm consoling myself. Woo Hoo! "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Money money money... Dance dance dance, dance like no one's watching. Go all out to gain all the experiences one can possibly gain! All the first times in my life! Enjoy life, live life to the fullest! Have a good life! I'm just trying to make my free time here meaningful. Yippee yeah, it's 3.09pm. This is such a long post ha. I'm writing every single tot tat flies past my mind now. I need to lose weight! I gained 10 pounds (abt 5kg) when i weighed myself on that thing you weigh your check-in luggage back in Bozeman when we were gonna fly to San Francisco on 19 Jul 08'.
Boo hoo! I bet I gained another 5kg from travelling in US for 2 weeks cos I ate ice-cream almost everyday. There were 2 days in New York when I ate ice-cream twice in a day! ARGH! In taiwan I drank 3 cups of bubble tea the 1st morning I got there cos I was so deprived! So much tapioca and pearls in me but I was kinda sick of shopping after factory outlet shopping @ woodbury in New York so I was looking out for food all the way ahah. Finally cheap food after 3 mths!
Neways, I gotta run to board our plane now! Whee hee! Tee Hee hee! See everyone in Singapore now. I must be a happy kid, a happy xiaopengyou!
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{/Wednesday, August 06, 2008, @2:25 AM.
{ 3 mths have passed... }
Title: 3 mths have passed...
Yuppy yup yup, 3 mths have passed. I'm in Taipei now, it's the same time as Singapore. (2.27am) I'm in the same time zone I have been in for 19 years now. Though I didn't really enjoy the travelling part of the "Work and Travel" as much as I tot I would, I kinda miss USA. After all, I just spent 3 mths there! It's Aug 6th, exactly 3 mths frm when I first reached the States.
I have many mixed feelins now. Like going home and going back to Yellowstone, I know what's ahead. Going home... Not that I hate home, but I do still miss Yellowstone more. One thing Evelyn keeps saying... We didn't have time to say goodbye to Yellowstone, to say our farewells.... To the park itself and our dear friends there. Time is not enough. I admit I'm greedy. I still miss our Taiwan friends, especially Lily, Fanny & Jessy. I miss hanging out with AJ, Annie, alien matt (he is so funny), Lance, Kathryn, John and some other random ppl. The feeling of missing somebody isn't that great. It's better now. Time helps, but I do still miss Yellowstone and its people frm time to time, especially after looking at the beautiful pictures and memories are evoked...
Awh... When will I ever learn how to put things behind me once and for all? I tot I had learnt how to do it. I kinda stopped being sad about how things will never be like they were in the past. That refers to when I go back to Msia. It's so different when I was a child and when I was in my late teens. It's just so full of life, crowded, bustling in both my parents' hometowns (two different ones). But, there are very little small kids left, most of them are older than me, in their twenties or late teens as well. We used to have so much fun, going back to Msia in the past used to be what I always looked forward to when the hols were approaching. Sadly, it's quieter now. My maternal grandma & paternal grandpa has passed away. There's less noise and less life... Sigh... But I tot I got over it after being comforted by my belurved relatives whom I'm very grateful that they are still there. My parents tell me that's life and we can't go back to the past, we can only move forward. That's why I tot I got over it.
However, this overseas trip for so long to the USA, to the beautiful and amazing Yellowstone National Park made me realize how much I tend to dwell in the past. At least, it takes a while for me to really get out of it. Of course, travelling gives me a lot of free time to think about stuff and life in general. I even get bored and keep asking the ones around me, "what are we gonna do?" ahha. I'm always chided (sometimes harshly sometimes gently) by my belurved 3 da jie jie (seniors) - xiaohui, shan er, charmian... They just tell me to stop thinking so much and just enjoy the moment. I know true happiness comes when you live for the moment. Cos you can't go back to the past and you can't predict the future, but it's just so hard not to keep thinking about the beautiful recent past I had to throw behind and move on...
Oh gush, I'm being so emo(tional) now again. Can't help it. That's me. I just really hope to see how life-changing this entire 3 mths will be for me. I know I can't tell it yet. I can only know when I go back to my life in Singapore. Alrighty, at least that's something for me to look forward to. And I'm gonna dance my life away if I can help it! I bet that's one other reason why I'm so moody sometimes. No endorphins. No such feelings of "high" I get when I dance haha... Alrighty, my laptop batt is running out. Pics next time!
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Yuppy yup yup, 3 mths have passed. I'm in Taipei now, it's the same time as Singapore. (2.27am) I'm in the same time zone I have been in for 19 years now. Though I didn't really enjoy the travelling part of the "Work and Travel" as much as I tot I would, I kinda miss USA. After all, I just spent 3 mths there! It's Aug 6th, exactly 3 mths frm when I first reached the States.
I have many mixed feelins now. Like going home and going back to Yellowstone, I know what's ahead. Going home... Not that I hate home, but I do still miss Yellowstone more. One thing Evelyn keeps saying... We didn't have time to say goodbye to Yellowstone, to say our farewells.... To the park itself and our dear friends there. Time is not enough. I admit I'm greedy. I still miss our Taiwan friends, especially Lily, Fanny & Jessy. I miss hanging out with AJ, Annie, alien matt (he is so funny), Lance, Kathryn, John and some other random ppl. The feeling of missing somebody isn't that great. It's better now. Time helps, but I do still miss Yellowstone and its people frm time to time, especially after looking at the beautiful pictures and memories are evoked...
Awh... When will I ever learn how to put things behind me once and for all? I tot I had learnt how to do it. I kinda stopped being sad about how things will never be like they were in the past. That refers to when I go back to Msia. It's so different when I was a child and when I was in my late teens. It's just so full of life, crowded, bustling in both my parents' hometowns (two different ones). But, there are very little small kids left, most of them are older than me, in their twenties or late teens as well. We used to have so much fun, going back to Msia in the past used to be what I always looked forward to when the hols were approaching. Sadly, it's quieter now. My maternal grandma & paternal grandpa has passed away. There's less noise and less life... Sigh... But I tot I got over it after being comforted by my belurved relatives whom I'm very grateful that they are still there. My parents tell me that's life and we can't go back to the past, we can only move forward. That's why I tot I got over it.
However, this overseas trip for so long to the USA, to the beautiful and amazing Yellowstone National Park made me realize how much I tend to dwell in the past. At least, it takes a while for me to really get out of it. Of course, travelling gives me a lot of free time to think about stuff and life in general. I even get bored and keep asking the ones around me, "what are we gonna do?" ahha. I'm always chided (sometimes harshly sometimes gently) by my belurved 3 da jie jie (seniors) - xiaohui, shan er, charmian... They just tell me to stop thinking so much and just enjoy the moment. I know true happiness comes when you live for the moment. Cos you can't go back to the past and you can't predict the future, but it's just so hard not to keep thinking about the beautiful recent past I had to throw behind and move on...
Oh gush, I'm being so emo(tional) now again. Can't help it. That's me. I just really hope to see how life-changing this entire 3 mths will be for me. I know I can't tell it yet. I can only know when I go back to my life in Singapore. Alrighty, at least that's something for me to look forward to. And I'm gonna dance my life away if I can help it! I bet that's one other reason why I'm so moody sometimes. No endorphins. No such feelings of "high" I get when I dance haha... Alrighty, my laptop batt is running out. Pics next time!
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